Adventure unfolding... Tanzania!

Never in a million years would I have believed, even six months ago, that I would be going to Tanzania this summer. Never in a million years would I have thought our family would transplant from our comfortable home in the hills of Kentucky to the beauty of red soil, grassy hills of Mwanza, Tanzania. Nope, these thoughts were too unrealistic.

As a tender young girl I dreamt of such opportunities. Through my childhood, I drank and thrived on the stories of people like Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, David Livingston, Mother Teresa, Jim and Elizabeth Elliot and Don Richardson. As I entered into the teen years, my love for the Lord and desire to give my all for Him through loving and laying my life down for the hurting world grew. People in my own life, like Emily Starr, showed me what it meant to love God through loving people. She loved all of us so genuinely, yet she had enough to spread to the neighbor down the road and the old lady at the store or the punk playing ball. Then she brought home pictures, stories and joy from trips to Venezuela. Her example helped me dream big. Then others like Aunt Carla kept listening to my dreams and encouraged them with stories of great men and women of the faith. Going to conferences like the Voice of the Martyrs and meeting people living the gospel, either in their own land or another, were all watering a greater dream.

Year 2009 was marked with the first steps into this dream of 'missions'. Aaron and Emmy invited myself to be their guinea pig for the pilot program of the School of Servanthood with Reaching the Nations International. As a sheltered, naive and nervous 18 year-old girl sporting the homemade dresses of country life and holding a heart desiring to do God's will, I moved to the 'hood. This experience matured my perspective on missions and what it means to live the gospel. It lead me back home to get 'educated'.

Being home meant learning how to love the people that looked and acted the most like myself. It meant realizing that this mission thing was not, going to another place thinking I can love people 'different' and 'pagan', and be called a 'hero' for that. It meant that truly being a Christian meant loving my Mama, Daddy and five annoying siblings. It meant caring for handicap children. It meant befriending youth in the area. It meant working on the farm. It meant learning from the people already in my life. It meant being faithful in the ordinary things. It means that being a Christian is a lifestyle and a daily experience. It is not a far-off dream in a distant land, its a daily reality.

The journey lead me to Berea College where I was supposed to get 'edu-ma-cated'. Here I have been given the privilege of building a unique community with students from all corners of the world, from all different religions and life-experience. In this academic world of studying, reading and attending classes, I learn the most from my friends. I've learned to find a beauty in all people, as they share their stories and their heart-felt believes. Or as we toss jokes back and forth, play a game of soccer or make a broom. It is my brothers and sisters from Kenya, Afghanistan, Appalachia, and Turkmenistan that have taught me what it means to be human and to live well in this world.

There are two thoughts that have challenged and taught me much this past year first, "If we realize, truly in our hearts and not simply as a matter of words, that any human being we meet (no matter what we may dislike about them) is in fact an image of the Almighty, even if unfortunately gravely distorted, then out of love for the King, we will greatly cherish the person for that reason, if for no others (from a fellow blogger)". And secondly from Mother Teresa,"We all have the duty to serve God where we are called to do so. I feel called to serve individuals, to love each human being. My calling is not to judge the institutions. I am not qualified to condemn anyone. I never think in terms of a crowd, but of individual persons. If I thought in term of a crowd I would never begin my work. I believe in the personal touch of one to one. If others are convinced that God wants them to change social structures, that is a matter for them to take up with God." Through these and other God inspired words, I have been challenged to not just talk about these things but live it. (Actually, I really probably shouldn't be writing about this because its definitely making me a hypocrite. However, I share so that you may be encouraged to fight the good fight and strive for the highest mark rather than mediocrity.)

All these thought lead me to the present, Good Friday and forty days before I board a plane to fly, fly, fly across a bit of water and land to learn from and love people I've yet to meet. Last year, my family was talking about moving to Tanzania to work with Tanzanian church leaders that are starting a Bible School for pastors who are unable to attend seminary, but need the training. Daddy had been twice to hold 6 week intensive- theological classes (or something along those lines). I thought they were joking until they told me they were getting passports for Mama, Daddy and  the four youngest children. For more of their story its here on Daddy's blog - http://www.forwardinafrica.com/2013/01/forward-along-kings-highway.html.

In the mean time, I was applying to spend a semester abroad in Thailand for study. However after hearing all about Tanzania and their excitement, I was toying with the idea of joining them. This was an impossibility, being in college and all. Plus, its not free to travel. The first weekend of February, I brought some friends home for a visit. During that visit, Daddy told me that maybe I could volunteer at an International School in which he had some contacts. One of my 'dreams' is to teach at an international school. Perfect! Right? except time and moneys.

This is when I learned about International Internships our school offers. To make a long, amazing story shorter... I learned that the deadlines for internship proposals was within the week. I was able to meet with a very busy lady, get a proposal written, get all the signatures needed, funds taken care of and find faculty sponsors by the deadline. Then I learned, I was approved by Berea College if the International School would have me. This was all before contacting the school in Tanzania.

On the Tanzanian end, we emailed and received word from them shortly that they too would have me come intern, thus finalizing the internship. Now I had/have less than three months to let it sink in that I've been given the opportunity to live within 20 minutes of the home my family will be, in a country half way around the world, working and learning from teachers and students at a school with has children from 54 nations. Mind boggling.

Why do I share these things? Why do I write these stories and thoughts down? I write them so that God may be glorified. He has done these good things. He has given me a heart for Him and people. He has given me these opportunities. I share these things to encourage the body of Christ, not to gloat about the adventurous life I have. My aim is that others may be inspired to trust God and to look beyond the horizons of life circumstances. That you may see, that God does orchestrate our lives, if we allow. There is so much good, peace, joy, fun and adventure that comes with a life devoted to God. Yes, as well as, a boat load of trails, pains, uncertainties and life lessons. God is good, loving and sovereign. I have no idea what life lessons will be learned through living in Tanzania. I have no idea what this experience means in the scope of the life of Anna. However, I do know that God knows, and that's enough.

Daddy's heart

"The mountain beckons me to come
to greet the morning sky alone
what seemed to be the top of the world
I found to be the foot of His throne
And in the silence I have found
that Holiness and Love is God
come on and change me
Holy Spirit change me"

~ Words from a song my Daddy wrote. I am honored to have a Daddy that loves God and seeks truth... and finds it in creation's reflection of God.

Illness of the Heart

"The most basic illness (of the heart) that the holy elders talk about," Father Maximos began, "is ignorance. In their language, however, ignorance does not mean lack of the right kind of information of the right kind of intellectual knowledge. What they really mean is the heart's ignorance of God. And this lack of direct experience of God renders human beings incapable of knowing what it means to live apart from God. Consequently, they are not conscious of how abysmal their deprivation and predicament is." ...
"What you don't know you don't miss," I added. "I suppose it is analogous to people who are content to live in polluted cities. They are perfectly happy because they have never experienced the clean, fresh air of the mountains and the countryside."...
"...Or It (city water) cannot be compared to the mountain water we have here. But for people who live in the city, their water tastes just fine. So, it is similar to our relationship with God..."

~Kyriacos C. Markides, The Mountain of Silence

Ordinary Miracle

It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn't it remarkable
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
Will always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart'
Cause we're all a part of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?
It seems so exceptional
The things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today


~Sarah McLauchlan

On being overcome by the 'tragedy' of loving...

“My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad!” The words of the psalmist David, in Psalm 34, are written with purple marker on a large cream-colored paper taped onto my dorm wall along with drawings children have gifted me with;  maps of places that are dear to my heart; and last semester’s crazy schedule. Here again, with a little time at the opening of Spring semester ‘13 on my hands, I am thinking and praising God for the blessings of the past year and the one that is before us.

Writing is a beautiful and meaningful way I’ve found to articulate what I’ve been learning, wrestle with ideas, share these joys, (hopefully) encourage others and praise our Heavenly Father. The words of David, “My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad” ring true what joys I desire to share through the miracle of words. This reminds me of the words of a young 4^th grade girl in one conversation, “You know two things that amaze me Anna? First that in just those few letters, the letters of the alphabet, people write all the books in the world. All those big books …” My young friend’s eyes sparked with the wonder of language and how we can communicate through 26 simple letters many deep, meaningful thoughts. Here in this moment, I want with words to revel in the joy found in our Lord.

Where to start is the question in my mind. The past three weeks have probably been the most restful, refreshing and encouraging I’ve had in a couple years. I over extended myself in the previous semester and become quiet exhausted toward the close of the semester. I learned that it is not wise to commit almost every waking moment between 7 AM through 10 PM to various activities, no matter how ‘good’ the opportunity might be.

This being partly because God calls us to still ourselves before Himself daily. Daily. In doing this, He does calls us to listen, act and often change our first plan of action. He might want us to stop and talk with a burdened soul. He might have us to give a hug, or smile. He might call us to take a friend to the store or on a trip. He might have us stay up into the wee hours of the morning to share with a friend. However that change of plan might be it will require of us to listen and obey. The only way, I’ve found to do be able to listen and act is in being still before Him daily. Daily! Furthermore it is rather hard, I’ve learned, to be flexible for God when every waking hour to committed to earthly activities.

This brings to mind a quote from C.S. Lewis a friend posted on facebook that remained with me through the course of the past few months. The quote goes, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves). I think this idea of what it takes to love can be tied right into stilling oneself before God. I found that when I was committing every moment to seemingly ‘good’ activities, I was, in fact, ‘carefully wrapping it (my heart) round with hobbies and little luxuries’.  I with good intentions of ‘learning new things’, ‘being adventurous’, ‘stepping outside my comfort zone’, ‘seizing the million little opportunities my school offers’ was rejecting the call of my Savior to love Him first and foremost, and secondly to love my neighbor, my brother and my friend. I was doing this through becoming so tied down to things, even good things, that I did not have time to still my soul, and to be flexible for others that is needed in loving anyone.

Think about it. Love requires flexibility. Imagine if your father, made plans to go watch his favorite football team playing in a local stadium, however right before he leaves to this game, he receives a phone call that you have been in a terrible auto accident and are at the hospital. Out of love, any father would certainly change his previous plans to go attend to the needs of his daughter. We would think it foreign and outrageous if a father would even think to do otherwise. However I find it ironic that in my own life how often I will stick to my own plans when someone I love needs otherwise. For example, just the other day I had made plans to go shooting with a friend. I was really very excited since this is a rare opportunity and something I don’t really know how to do, yet. It was going to be a learning experience and a fun one at that. However, I had to take my grandmother to town to get her dentures fixed. This outing took most of the day, I came back ready to go shooting. Mama, on the other hand, was looking forward to spending time with me before I had to go back to college. It was actually my last day home. At that moment, I had to make a decision of whether to do what I wanted or what my mom wanted because I loved her.

Similarly, how often are we, as Christians, called to stop what we want to do, and even planned to do, to spend time with, and in the presence of Him? We say, “We love God above all else”, but does our investments show that? How often do we take time for Him? Is it daily? This is where I am challenged and chided. Honestly, I would like to think I daily spend time, invested and stilled before, this God I’ve committed my life. The question is – “But Do I?” Does my life reflect the flexibility needed in truly loving God and my neighbor? Or does it show the signs of protecting itself and loving myself? As Lewis worded so cleverly, “The alternative to ‘tragedy’ (loving), or at least to the risk of ‘tragedy’, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

 As ironic and contrary to my own self-centered nature as it may be, I want to be overcome by this ‘tragedy’ of loving and being known for loving. I desire above all else to love, first God and secondly my neighbor, without reserve and without self-fish motivations. Furthermore, I believe that a place for myself to start is through stilling myself daily before God and being flexible in the little things, so as to be freed to share this love that only comes from Jesus Christ. St. Augustine of Hippo is known for praying, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” Join me and allow yourself to find the rest, love and quiet in that time invested in our Lord.

 

"For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not."--Isaiah 30:15

 

 

 

Journey of a Soul in the Realm of Grace...

Here I sit, in the second floor kitchen of my dorm trying to study for tomorrow's exam. Katie is accompanying me with all her books sprawled about the table as she searches for primary resources for a report. There is a steady hum coming from the old heater along with the sounds of bluegrass music from Katie's laptop. A night autumn breeze is flowing through the cracked window. It's already 12:30 at night or in the morning - depending on ones perspective. As I try to study my mind keeps backtracking to a delightful thought I had today while at the general student recital in Gray Auditorium.

It was one of those moments, I was once again awed at life and the ways of the Lifegiver. It was one of those thoughts I couldn't not share (Right two negatives create a positive).  Let me try to paint this picture with words that so clearly today gave me a glimpse of God's sovereignty. This recital had about twenty students all preforming one piece from their private music lessons. Some had vocal pieces, while others were pianists, organists or a musician of another instrument. Between each piece, a student, James, came out to adjust the prestigious grand piano in the center of the stage for the next performer either lifting the giant lid or laying it back down. About midpoint during the recital, a beaming young Filipino student came out to preform a piano piece. He had a vibe of excitement about him that caused him to stand tall with pride and confidence in his hardly five feet stature. With an enthusiastic grin, he began playing an energetic tune.

As I am a friend of many international students, I began to think it odd how this student choose music as his major (an assumption of mine from seeing this student only in music related activities). A music major may seem a "waste" to some. My college is unique in that all students are given a full scholarship for all four years of tuition upon acceptance. Furthermore, only thirty international students are accepted each to receive admittance to my school. Most international students here choose a major like economics or business (boring I know). I wondered about this student, "What caused him to pursue the study of music rather than a study that would lead to "good" career options?"

This is when I realize that as people we are like this young man. We are all given a beautiful, precious gift of life. This gift is like the full scholarship for school we receive here at Berea College. Beyond this I realized that this journey as a Christian in the realm of grace received through Jesus Christ is like being one of thirty students around the world who receive this scholarship. Then I had another realization, that we are given a marvelous opportunity to be stewards of not only life but life in the realm of grace.

I saw a picture of God's sovereignty being like a student choosing his concentration of study. I began to see that God gives us options, choices, freedom to decide just how to use the life He gives. I saw that we don't have to be forced into dreary economics or business because it's a "good" career option but that we are allowed to pursue passions, like this student's passion of music. I began to see that God uses those decisions we make about vocation to bring about His will even if it be something "fun, desirable". We aren't forced in receiving the gift of life to use it in dreary, boring ways but can and should use the gift in a manner that produces joy, and fulfillment.

This does not mean that all of life will be a breeze just because we find freedom in God's gift. I'm sure this student had to put in much time, commitment and concentration to find the freedom of playing music. I'm certain that there were days his hands ached from playing, or he became frustrated from challenging new pieces, but as he doubled over for a thorough bow I saw that to him it was all worth it.

I too realize, as I bow before my Lifegiver, that as stressful as it can be at times God in His sovereignty has given me the ability and duty of choosing how to spend the gift of life. I am confident that with a heart in line with the things of God, He can use whatever vocation to further His kingdom be it music or economics. This is something, I am grateful for because I'd rather be in the study of music rather than dreadful economics...

It's a Good Day to be Alive

This morning when praying with Hannah in the dorm, she laughed at me.
 "What's funny?" I asked.
"It's just that you say that every morning. It reminds me of when I was in fourth grade and my teacher would say, 'It's Friday so you all need to be quiet." Then on Monday she would say, ' Children it's Monday so you NEED to be quiet."

I loved Hannah's laugh as she finished her little analogy comparing my daily comment, "It's a good day to be alive." It's true... I guess. As I thought about it... Everyday I do say, "Its a good day to be alive."

College life is a whirl. It's a beaut, a treasure, a dream of sorts. What I mean is everyday is a gift that comes and goes being replaced by another. But more than that I realize, sometimes just for an instance, that this opportunity is a blessing from my Heavenly Father. Why I've been 'so blessed'? I have no idea, no comprehension. However I do know this - It's a good day to be alive.

Let me try to explain. I'm studying Elementary Education, or rather how to be a teacher. It's an ambition that is growing within me. I've come to see it as the 'best' vocation to study. Others seems to disagree with an odd sort of smile when I mention that. All the same, this semester I've been taking four excellent classes - all of which teach me how to teach. One class has to do with teaching mathematics. Another with focuses on literature, another on curriculum... Then on top of that I get to discover new things of interest. Through choir and private voice lessons I am being shown the wonder of music. Through Danish gymnastics and Frisbee, I am being taught the joy and challenge of being outside my comfort zone and working with others to learn a challenging thing. I mean, "I am the girl who struggles to do a cartwheel and now you want me to do a back flip?" Through work, I get the joy of learning an old art - broom making. Who makes brooms these days? (And it used arm muscles I don't have ...) Through morning prayer, CRU bible study, and random conversations I am blessed with Christian fellowship. Oh, and did I mention, classroom observation at the local elementary school or drumming with the African-Latin percussion ensemble?

Now I don't mean to gloat; my point in writing this is deeper than that (I hope). Yes, I do feel blessed and rightly so. The truth is that I have been. But what is interesting to me is: "Why am I not everyday awed at God's provisions?" And further still, "Would I in different circumstances see God's goodness and provision?"

Many a day I state, "It's a good day to be alive" out of habit. However, I on the inside am stressed about the 40 page admission portfolio I am writing for my education program, or complaining about the fact that I'm still single, or worried about voice lessons because I didn't practice more than twice that week, or feeling lonely because college friendships are not like a family's. Why do I not everyday recognize the blessing God has bestowed rather than focus on the little petty circumstances of life that my self-center, fallible nature wants to change.

I was writing a friend who is living in difficult circumstances and feeling a little on the guilty side about writing about how awesome college life is when it struck me - No matter the circumstances, my nature will complain and focus on the negative unless my heart is focused on the Lord my God. Scriptures say, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). My heart is deceitful and will complain even in the midst of immense blessing.
The truth is without Jesus my heart would and does become calloused with the lies of materialism, education, and my own goals and career..."For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." (Matthew 13:15)

I desire to allow Jesus to heal my calloused, dull heart and blind eyes when I go through a day without recognizing His presence, blessing, provisions and promises. That is why I must exercise the exhortation, "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8. With a mind thinking on what is good and true, then I will see... Then I have another question. Would I be able to praise my Heavenly Father when the circumstances are not good? Could I like Elizabeth Elliot who was widowed at as a young mother say, "The secret is not me in a different set of circumstances but Christ in me." Could I have that confidence in Christ's goodness? Could I like Corrie TenBoom say, "Often I have heard people say, "How good God is! We prayed that it would not rain for our church picnic, and look at the lovely weather!" Yes, God is good when He sends good weather. But God was also good when He allowed my sister, Betsie, to starve to death before my eyes in a German concentration camp. I remember one occasion when I was very discouraged there. Everything around us was dark, and there was darkness in my heart. I remember telling Betsie that I thought God had forgotten us. "No, Corrie," said Betsie, "He has not forgotten us. Remember His Word: "For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him." Corrie concludes, "There is an ocean of God's love available - there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love - whatever the circumstances." ? I am challenged to live each day in the blessed assurance of God's goodness no matter the circumstances. Would you join me in saying, "It's a good day to be alive because the Lord is good!"