Just another 'page'

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” ~Augustine of Hippo

I never cease to be amazed whenever arriving to a new place how 'novel' and 'exhilarating' everything seems, yet how similar to photos, stories and descriptions found in books the place really is. This creates an odd sort of familiarity to a land, culture and people that is completely foreign. So it was upon arriving in Tanzania. Its Africa! Yes, what I see, hear and smell is different than home. For example, upon landing I spotted a stork flying. At Dar-Es-Salaam the immigration officials seemed rather relaxed and disorganized. All around the language is the air is Swahili. Everywhere the roads are bumpy and a maize of cars, motorcycles, dola-dolas and people walking. Its Africa! I felt completely at peace and safe, even amongst the unknown before me. Furthermore I am very grateful and honored to be able to explore another 'page' in the book of the world titled - Tanzania.


Back to travels. This was the farthest that I had travel alone. My journey took me through six airport in just two short days. Really quite a miracle. I was able to see the flower bulbs for sale in Amsterdam, the Alps from above, the landscape of Italy, the real massive size of the Ionion Sea and almost feel time fast forward with two sunsets (caused by being at such high altitudes, the curve of the earth and flying east). Then from the flight within the country I sat next to a Tanzanian pilot who told me all about the national parks, wildlife and history of Tanzania, as well as pointing out landmarks along the flight.

 Sometimes its the small things... Amsterdam

Everyone I met along the way, especially the further east I traveled, were helpful and friendly. Especially the angel God sent me in Dar-Es-Salaam. I had arranged for my friend from college's friend's friend's friend to take me to and from a hotel in Dar. (Which was the safest way for me to get around). Except that I accidentally told them the wrong date. As a result when I stepped out of the airport into the warm African night around 10 PM I had nobody I knew to pick me up. I picked up a conversation with an Indian lady who lived in the city. She was friends with a girl I had befriended on the airplane. She with confidence said she would take me to the hotel if nobody came. She called my ride, informed me about the miss-communication about dates and told me they would meet me at my hotel. Then I, feeling very much safe and peaceful, climbed into the bed of a truck with her. Looking back, I don't know if this was the best thing to do. However this lady was an angel and took to the front desk of the hotel. That was the most exciting part of the journey.

Upon arriving into the city I am living, the Bishop graciously picked me up and brought me to the international school I am to be interning at. Again I did not know where I was to live upon arrival. This is when I was introduced to a young English family whom opened their home to myself. John and Dawn have lived here for two years. John is planting an international church and Dawn is a teacher at the school. They have two beautiful sons ages 6 and 3 years. The boys have the sweetest English accents are always making the cutest remarks. For example just at bedtime little Caleb asked, "Why can't we see Jesus?" Joseph trying to answer this complex question said, "Well You've got a heart. That means Jesus is inside of you." Caleb not quite understanding stated, "He's inside my stomach. Can we cut it open and see Him?" (or something along those lines). There is also a young Kenyan family living in the house. They have a two year old son. The three boys are always playing together. I am very grateful to have a family to live with while here.  Furthermore they are very generous and have invited myself to participate in as much of their activities as I want. The good Lord has once again provided.

As for the school... today was just my second day. I think I'll save sharing about the school for another day....Just for a taste though there are monkeys on the school ground who are known for stealing food from the children's lunches...

 

(not my picture)

FARM

Visiting the farm,

pulling up to some barns and stepping out smelling animals,

grass and fresh air reminds me of ‘real’ life.

Those cats hanging around,

shaking a friendly farmer’s hand

and the presence of good, olde, down-to-earth Jamie

sporting rubber boots and an oversized long-sleeved shirt seem “real to me”.

 

 

 Then time somehow stops in its mysterious sort of way.

Here I am without an agenda.

A place just to ‘be’.

Just to ‘be’ outdoors –

to smell the smells, to observe creatures, to hold the babies,

 and simply talk with good folk.

 

 

These are the times I feel most alive.

These are the ‘real’ moments of life.

Why times like this just ‘being’ on the farm feel so real?

No-one really knows?

Perhaps it’s the intensity of using all the sense with each breath.

Perhaps it’s the freedom from society’s binding time.

Perhaps cuz there’s a part in each of us that knows

there’s something to this life that each of us was meant for.

Adventure unfolding... Tanzania!

Never in a million years would I have believed, even six months ago, that I would be going to Tanzania this summer. Never in a million years would I have thought our family would transplant from our comfortable home in the hills of Kentucky to the beauty of red soil, grassy hills of Mwanza, Tanzania. Nope, these thoughts were too unrealistic.

As a tender young girl I dreamt of such opportunities. Through my childhood, I drank and thrived on the stories of people like Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, David Livingston, Mother Teresa, Jim and Elizabeth Elliot and Don Richardson. As I entered into the teen years, my love for the Lord and desire to give my all for Him through loving and laying my life down for the hurting world grew. People in my own life, like Emily Starr, showed me what it meant to love God through loving people. She loved all of us so genuinely, yet she had enough to spread to the neighbor down the road and the old lady at the store or the punk playing ball. Then she brought home pictures, stories and joy from trips to Venezuela. Her example helped me dream big. Then others like Aunt Carla kept listening to my dreams and encouraged them with stories of great men and women of the faith. Going to conferences like the Voice of the Martyrs and meeting people living the gospel, either in their own land or another, were all watering a greater dream.

Year 2009 was marked with the first steps into this dream of 'missions'. Aaron and Emmy invited myself to be their guinea pig for the pilot program of the School of Servanthood with Reaching the Nations International. As a sheltered, naive and nervous 18 year-old girl sporting the homemade dresses of country life and holding a heart desiring to do God's will, I moved to the 'hood. This experience matured my perspective on missions and what it means to live the gospel. It lead me back home to get 'educated'.

Being home meant learning how to love the people that looked and acted the most like myself. It meant realizing that this mission thing was not, going to another place thinking I can love people 'different' and 'pagan', and be called a 'hero' for that. It meant that truly being a Christian meant loving my Mama, Daddy and five annoying siblings. It meant caring for handicap children. It meant befriending youth in the area. It meant working on the farm. It meant learning from the people already in my life. It meant being faithful in the ordinary things. It means that being a Christian is a lifestyle and a daily experience. It is not a far-off dream in a distant land, its a daily reality.

The journey lead me to Berea College where I was supposed to get 'edu-ma-cated'. Here I have been given the privilege of building a unique community with students from all corners of the world, from all different religions and life-experience. In this academic world of studying, reading and attending classes, I learn the most from my friends. I've learned to find a beauty in all people, as they share their stories and their heart-felt believes. Or as we toss jokes back and forth, play a game of soccer or make a broom. It is my brothers and sisters from Kenya, Afghanistan, Appalachia, and Turkmenistan that have taught me what it means to be human and to live well in this world.

There are two thoughts that have challenged and taught me much this past year first, "If we realize, truly in our hearts and not simply as a matter of words, that any human being we meet (no matter what we may dislike about them) is in fact an image of the Almighty, even if unfortunately gravely distorted, then out of love for the King, we will greatly cherish the person for that reason, if for no others (from a fellow blogger)". And secondly from Mother Teresa,"We all have the duty to serve God where we are called to do so. I feel called to serve individuals, to love each human being. My calling is not to judge the institutions. I am not qualified to condemn anyone. I never think in terms of a crowd, but of individual persons. If I thought in term of a crowd I would never begin my work. I believe in the personal touch of one to one. If others are convinced that God wants them to change social structures, that is a matter for them to take up with God." Through these and other God inspired words, I have been challenged to not just talk about these things but live it. (Actually, I really probably shouldn't be writing about this because its definitely making me a hypocrite. However, I share so that you may be encouraged to fight the good fight and strive for the highest mark rather than mediocrity.)

All these thought lead me to the present, Good Friday and forty days before I board a plane to fly, fly, fly across a bit of water and land to learn from and love people I've yet to meet. Last year, my family was talking about moving to Tanzania to work with Tanzanian church leaders that are starting a Bible School for pastors who are unable to attend seminary, but need the training. Daddy had been twice to hold 6 week intensive- theological classes (or something along those lines). I thought they were joking until they told me they were getting passports for Mama, Daddy and  the four youngest children. For more of their story its here on Daddy's blog - http://www.forwardinafrica.com/2013/01/forward-along-kings-highway.html.

In the mean time, I was applying to spend a semester abroad in Thailand for study. However after hearing all about Tanzania and their excitement, I was toying with the idea of joining them. This was an impossibility, being in college and all. Plus, its not free to travel. The first weekend of February, I brought some friends home for a visit. During that visit, Daddy told me that maybe I could volunteer at an International School in which he had some contacts. One of my 'dreams' is to teach at an international school. Perfect! Right? except time and moneys.

This is when I learned about International Internships our school offers. To make a long, amazing story shorter... I learned that the deadlines for internship proposals was within the week. I was able to meet with a very busy lady, get a proposal written, get all the signatures needed, funds taken care of and find faculty sponsors by the deadline. Then I learned, I was approved by Berea College if the International School would have me. This was all before contacting the school in Tanzania.

On the Tanzanian end, we emailed and received word from them shortly that they too would have me come intern, thus finalizing the internship. Now I had/have less than three months to let it sink in that I've been given the opportunity to live within 20 minutes of the home my family will be, in a country half way around the world, working and learning from teachers and students at a school with has children from 54 nations. Mind boggling.

Why do I share these things? Why do I write these stories and thoughts down? I write them so that God may be glorified. He has done these good things. He has given me a heart for Him and people. He has given me these opportunities. I share these things to encourage the body of Christ, not to gloat about the adventurous life I have. My aim is that others may be inspired to trust God and to look beyond the horizons of life circumstances. That you may see, that God does orchestrate our lives, if we allow. There is so much good, peace, joy, fun and adventure that comes with a life devoted to God. Yes, as well as, a boat load of trails, pains, uncertainties and life lessons. God is good, loving and sovereign. I have no idea what life lessons will be learned through living in Tanzania. I have no idea what this experience means in the scope of the life of Anna. However, I do know that God knows, and that's enough.

Daddy's heart

"The mountain beckons me to come
to greet the morning sky alone
what seemed to be the top of the world
I found to be the foot of His throne
And in the silence I have found
that Holiness and Love is God
come on and change me
Holy Spirit change me"

~ Words from a song my Daddy wrote. I am honored to have a Daddy that loves God and seeks truth... and finds it in creation's reflection of God.

Illness of the Heart

"The most basic illness (of the heart) that the holy elders talk about," Father Maximos began, "is ignorance. In their language, however, ignorance does not mean lack of the right kind of information of the right kind of intellectual knowledge. What they really mean is the heart's ignorance of God. And this lack of direct experience of God renders human beings incapable of knowing what it means to live apart from God. Consequently, they are not conscious of how abysmal their deprivation and predicament is." ...
"What you don't know you don't miss," I added. "I suppose it is analogous to people who are content to live in polluted cities. They are perfectly happy because they have never experienced the clean, fresh air of the mountains and the countryside."...
"...Or It (city water) cannot be compared to the mountain water we have here. But for people who live in the city, their water tastes just fine. So, it is similar to our relationship with God..."

~Kyriacos C. Markides, The Mountain of Silence

Ordinary Miracle

It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn't it remarkable
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
Will always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart'
Cause we're all a part of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?
It seems so exceptional
The things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today


~Sarah McLauchlan

On being overcome by the 'tragedy' of loving...

“My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad!” The words of the psalmist David, in Psalm 34, are written with purple marker on a large cream-colored paper taped onto my dorm wall along with drawings children have gifted me with;  maps of places that are dear to my heart; and last semester’s crazy schedule. Here again, with a little time at the opening of Spring semester ‘13 on my hands, I am thinking and praising God for the blessings of the past year and the one that is before us.

Writing is a beautiful and meaningful way I’ve found to articulate what I’ve been learning, wrestle with ideas, share these joys, (hopefully) encourage others and praise our Heavenly Father. The words of David, “My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad” ring true what joys I desire to share through the miracle of words. This reminds me of the words of a young 4^th grade girl in one conversation, “You know two things that amaze me Anna? First that in just those few letters, the letters of the alphabet, people write all the books in the world. All those big books …” My young friend’s eyes sparked with the wonder of language and how we can communicate through 26 simple letters many deep, meaningful thoughts. Here in this moment, I want with words to revel in the joy found in our Lord.

Where to start is the question in my mind. The past three weeks have probably been the most restful, refreshing and encouraging I’ve had in a couple years. I over extended myself in the previous semester and become quiet exhausted toward the close of the semester. I learned that it is not wise to commit almost every waking moment between 7 AM through 10 PM to various activities, no matter how ‘good’ the opportunity might be.

This being partly because God calls us to still ourselves before Himself daily. Daily. In doing this, He does calls us to listen, act and often change our first plan of action. He might want us to stop and talk with a burdened soul. He might have us to give a hug, or smile. He might call us to take a friend to the store or on a trip. He might have us stay up into the wee hours of the morning to share with a friend. However that change of plan might be it will require of us to listen and obey. The only way, I’ve found to do be able to listen and act is in being still before Him daily. Daily! Furthermore it is rather hard, I’ve learned, to be flexible for God when every waking hour to committed to earthly activities.

This brings to mind a quote from C.S. Lewis a friend posted on facebook that remained with me through the course of the past few months. The quote goes, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves). I think this idea of what it takes to love can be tied right into stilling oneself before God. I found that when I was committing every moment to seemingly ‘good’ activities, I was, in fact, ‘carefully wrapping it (my heart) round with hobbies and little luxuries’.  I with good intentions of ‘learning new things’, ‘being adventurous’, ‘stepping outside my comfort zone’, ‘seizing the million little opportunities my school offers’ was rejecting the call of my Savior to love Him first and foremost, and secondly to love my neighbor, my brother and my friend. I was doing this through becoming so tied down to things, even good things, that I did not have time to still my soul, and to be flexible for others that is needed in loving anyone.

Think about it. Love requires flexibility. Imagine if your father, made plans to go watch his favorite football team playing in a local stadium, however right before he leaves to this game, he receives a phone call that you have been in a terrible auto accident and are at the hospital. Out of love, any father would certainly change his previous plans to go attend to the needs of his daughter. We would think it foreign and outrageous if a father would even think to do otherwise. However I find it ironic that in my own life how often I will stick to my own plans when someone I love needs otherwise. For example, just the other day I had made plans to go shooting with a friend. I was really very excited since this is a rare opportunity and something I don’t really know how to do, yet. It was going to be a learning experience and a fun one at that. However, I had to take my grandmother to town to get her dentures fixed. This outing took most of the day, I came back ready to go shooting. Mama, on the other hand, was looking forward to spending time with me before I had to go back to college. It was actually my last day home. At that moment, I had to make a decision of whether to do what I wanted or what my mom wanted because I loved her.

Similarly, how often are we, as Christians, called to stop what we want to do, and even planned to do, to spend time with, and in the presence of Him? We say, “We love God above all else”, but does our investments show that? How often do we take time for Him? Is it daily? This is where I am challenged and chided. Honestly, I would like to think I daily spend time, invested and stilled before, this God I’ve committed my life. The question is – “But Do I?” Does my life reflect the flexibility needed in truly loving God and my neighbor? Or does it show the signs of protecting itself and loving myself? As Lewis worded so cleverly, “The alternative to ‘tragedy’ (loving), or at least to the risk of ‘tragedy’, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

 As ironic and contrary to my own self-centered nature as it may be, I want to be overcome by this ‘tragedy’ of loving and being known for loving. I desire above all else to love, first God and secondly my neighbor, without reserve and without self-fish motivations. Furthermore, I believe that a place for myself to start is through stilling myself daily before God and being flexible in the little things, so as to be freed to share this love that only comes from Jesus Christ. St. Augustine of Hippo is known for praying, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” Join me and allow yourself to find the rest, love and quiet in that time invested in our Lord.

 

"For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not."--Isaiah 30:15